Charlotte, NC – New DuPont thermoplastics salesman Jared Appelbaum continued to fail to meet expectations Friday when he showed up late for work with a frappuccino in his hand for the fifth consecutive day. “We had a feeling he would suck when we hired him,” said DuPont Senior VP of Human Resources Cady Holliday. Jared, who walked in with his tie draped over his shoulder, did not apologize for being late or offer an explanation. He was overheard telling a coworker that the company start time conflicted with SportsCenter. Since being hired three weeks ago, Jared has been caught playing Tetris on his computer and sleeping in a bathroom stall. Last week, he also had an altercation with Tery Caloghiris, the Head of Colors and Coating Technologies, over the value of golf balls made from ethylene copolymers. Jared is expected to get fired before the Kevlar convention next month.
2 comments:
This story perfectly describes my boss. Says nothing, does nothing.
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