Washington, DC – After spending a weekend with Latvian Prime Minister Aigars Kalvitis, President Bush announced a reversal on his policy banning gay marriage. “In the past, when I thought of homosexuals, I thought of Mary Cheney. She looks like a younger Dick Cheney -- scary,” Bush said. “I never knew a gay could be as handsome as Prime Minister Kalvitis, or Kal, as I like to call him. He’s what I like to call a real ally,” Bush winked. He later cancelled plans to work on a new version of the children's healthcare bill to go boating with Kalvitis.
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