Coral Glades, FL - Timberlakes Middle School Principal Barri Ross announced today that all 181 students in the eighth grade have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). "They are incapable of controlling their impulses," said Dr. Erik Behr, who examined the students via satellite from Seattle, Washington. Teachers were instructed to pick up all 181 accommodation plans by the end of the day. The principal also announced a revised schedule that will provide extra time for students to take ritalin, put their heads on their desk and fall asleep, bounce off the walls, smack each other in the head, and stand outside for fresh air. The new schedule will be announced repeatedly throughout the year.
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The story of my life!
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