Sunday, November 18, 2007

Clinton Cackle Coos Crowd


Las Vegas, NV - Presidential candidate Barack Obama screamed “Ouch!” during a debate Thursday night after Hillary Clinton put him on her lap and spanked him like a meandering 10 year old. “She really hurt me,” Obama said after taking all three hours of the debate to answer a question about driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants. “It was like watching George Bush try to solve a New York Times crossword puzzle,” said Cody Barker, managing editor of The Pretzel.” It looked like 9/11 out there,” Republican presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani said. Meanwhile, Clinton continues to ascend in the polls. In a recent survey, only 74% of Americans now believe that it is only “very probable” that you can see right through Senator Clinton if you hold her up to the light. During the debate, Clinton laughed so hard, she fell off the stage and into the lap of audience member Valerie Plame Wilson, where she continued to avoid enumerating her positions. Wilson said she could not comment on the fall because she is currently working undercover for Ballantine Books. The candidates will debate in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Florida tomorrow. Obama was taken to an undisclosed Las Vegas hospital after the debate, where he met Elizabeth Taylor.

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