Saint-Remy-de-Provence, France - A report recently surfaced in the South of France that Nostradamus may have predicted the pregnancy of 16-year-old Jaime Lynn Spears in Les Propheties in 1555. In the book, Nostradamus writes that following the greatest "plagues, earthquakes, wars, floods, invasions, murders, droughts, and battles" would come "the impregnation of the youngest of spears, which would signify the coming of the end of humanity." Not even a blazing fire in Dick Cheney's office in the Old Executive Office building could trump the news of the latest Hollywood starlet gone bad. Confirmation of a refusal to abort the baby caused power outages in 26 countries. The nation was no less shocked to learn Brittney Spears has a sister. In the meantime, billions of paralyzed citizens waited for an Orson Welles ending that never came.
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