Washington, D.C. - In a sweeping overhaul of 18th century protocols, the U.S. Post Office Master General announced today that she will implement a series of environmental initiatives to combat global warming. One of the provisions will result in the printing of biodegradable "Forever" stamps. If the stamps are not used within three years, they will disintegrate. The People for Styrofoam Stamps (P.S.S), a non-profit grassroots organization fighting for immortal stamp life, mailed a petition to Congress expressing their discontent, however, the petition never reached its destination. In the meantime, P.S.S is keeping their stamps in petri dishes and planning a Million Stamp March on the steps of the U.S. Post Office.
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