North Pole - Father Christmas has endured chimney jokes since the 19th century, the debate over whether parents should continue lying about his existence, and religious concerns that his legend detracts from the real meaning of Christmas and makes an already self-centered citizenry even more egocentric. Despite a wave of anti-Kringle sentiments, he has never expressed remorse over gift giving -- until now. "A 10-year old girl in Ohio asked me for a VH1 I Love New York doll. I couldn't bring myself to do it," he moaned. "I'm glad she picked Tailor-Made but Budda should have been off that show long before Punk. It wasn't right -- even Sister Patterson agreed." Off camera, Kringle admitted that he was partial towards Midget Mac. Santa also expressed disgust over more than 14,000,000 requests for Xbox 360. "North America has turned into World of Warcraft. We should consider adding a 28th amendment to the Constitution appointing King Magni Bronzebeard of Azeroth head of the American monarchy -- his first mission to destroy all documents on the Spirit of 76." Santa is also reportedly suffering financial losses as a result of the global environmental crisis. "My house is melting," he said. "The basement is completely flooded." After seeing him kick his sleigh in disgust, Thrall and Cairne Bloodhoof offered to help deliver the rest of the gifts.
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