San Francisco, CA - A rookie in 1986, fans have watched Barry Bonds grow from a 157 lb. Pirate to a 240 lb. Giant. Critics have questioned his growth spurt, atypical for a 43 year old. In front of a home crowd of 48,020, Bonds broke the all-time record for mood disturbances today, previously held by right fielder Jose Canseco. Bonds recorded his 411th documented case of psychosis and 831st aggressive act when he argued with a fan about a called strike three. Bonds later apologized to the fan, a six month old baby, who was crying at the time because her pacifier fell on the ground.
