Washington, DC - Former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan denied any responsibility for his vocal support of tax cuts and subprime loans leading to a soaring national debt and housing crash. Greenspan confirmed that he has never made a mistake, is not currently making any mistakes, and will never make a mistake. He added he has never asked an overweight woman if she is pregnant, never called the wrong number, and never sat in the wrong seat at a Redskins game. When reporters asked Greenspan's perfect wife Andrea Mitchell if her husband has ever left the toilet seat up, she replied, "He always sits when he pees because he's so full of crap."
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