Hartford, CT – After being spotted at Jackson’s Steakhouse eating filet mignon with Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, Independent Senator Joe “Mentum” Lieberman announced that he no longer eats anything green. “Meat only for this gun owner and lifelong hunter,” the one time Democrat and Vice-Presidential nominee said. Lieberman also disclosed that he no longer believes G-d promised Abraham the land of Israel or that fanny packs are necessary. Later that evening, Lieberman stated that he is no longer married and joined a group of lobbyists at The Cheetah for a lap dance.
