Boston, MA – In his first interview since the Patriots final victory against the British in South Carolina along the Combahee River, General George Washington expressed remorse for fighting the American Revolution. “I always believed the leaders of our country would follow the Constitution. I guess I should have told the minutemen to ignore the first shot at Lexington,” he said. President Bush praised Washington for his valor. “He had the courage to bring a baseball team to this great city and give them the ‘W’ logo," Bush said. The President subsequently commuted the prison sentence of convicted felon Scooter Libby, filed a motion to seal all of Vice-President Cheney’s criminal activities, signed off on the torture of Guantanamo Bay prisoners, authorized the wiretapping of an additional three million Americans, and agreed to a ban on Karl Rove dancing.
