Atlanta, GA - The NAACP issued a statement today asking black and white Americans to stop talking to each other in order to properly prepare for the Michael Vick trial. "It has been more than a decade since our country divided over the O.J. trial and we feel it's time to bring back that visceral racial hatred," Jim Cann, President of the NAACP said. "This has nothing to do with dogs," he added. "It is about other NFL teams wanting to win and framing Michael Vick to do it! If there are dead dogs, they belong to Peyton Manning!" In a public statement delivered from a bomb making factory, PETA President Claire Fortenberry said, "Unless white people buried dead dogs in Mr. Vick's backyard, this is not a racial issue." The black people accusing him of the crime decided not to comment since they already reached plea agreement deals implicating Vick. The NAACP said they could not be bothered with the details of the case and organized a march on Washington to end what they referred to as "the public lynching of a hometown hero". O.J. Simpson has offered to write an "If I Did It" sequel with Vick. From the top of a mountain, Reverend Jesse Jackson added, "Mr. Vick did not do the crime, he will not do the time, this is the work of slime, there will be no fine, we will not pay a dime, and he will sign."
