Washington, DC - Alberto Gonzales, the Attorney General maligned over the alleged political firing of seven U.S. Attorneys, left a Safeway shopping market in Georgetown empty handed today. "I can't recall my damn PIN," Gonzales snipped. Presdient Bush reiterated his support for Gonzales. "His initials are AG and he is the AG. That's why I picked him. I don't know why he is sewing but he is a good, decent, and honorable man who has brought goodness, decency, and honorability to the office of the AG." Gonzales has refused to resign amid the scandal and insists that like the people he fired without the President's authorization, he serves at the pleasure of the President. "Right now, I'm focused on finding out where the heck I wrote my PIN so I can get some dinner," he said. Gonzales was unable to use his credit cards after he mistook himself for the leader of an al-Qaeda cell and ordered the Justice Department to cancel them. Earlier in the week, Gonzales didn't recall his wife's birthday and left his dog outside overnight.
