Washington, D.C. - Predictably and in typical enigmatic fashion, President Bush expressed his support for global warming yesterday. “I think we need it,” he said. "A lot of folk up north don't have heaters. Last year, more than 30 people died in Ohio alone from freezation. If we can warm the earth’s atmosphere, we have a chance to save lives,” he quipped. When asked if he feared rising sea levels, Bush replied, “Higher sea levels means more drinking water, dudn't it? I support the expansion of our beaches to non-coastal regions. It will be good for tourism in places like Idaho.” Bush added he is planning to tour the Antarctic later this year. “I want to see what all the fuss is about -- maybe see some of those bipolar bears and find out why they have two different personalities. There has to be a reason they’re killing themselves.”
